There are a few interesting points that I have noticed so
far on my short little journey into the world of poetry.
- I find myself look at things a little differently again. Basically, I am looking for some inspiration.
- I find myself having a different attitude towards poetry than I did when I was in high school.
- I find that this blog might be the best place to document ideas. For example, Wednesday, I had the idea that I wanted to get on paper. I didn’t bring my note book with me to write stuff down, and to be honest, I’m not the kind of guy who is going to carry a poetry notebook around with me anyway even if it does look like this:
I have also made the decision to go ahead and post the first
poem up, but you have to know that it is still a work in progress.
Here goes:
Welcome to tomorrow
What is new is old
what’s old, is new
She is gone
To be with her own kind
We are forced
to pick up the slate
Forced to move on
Like it or not
It’s not our choice
But the choice is made
Welcome to tomorrow
What is new is old
what’s old, is new
She is gone
To be with her own kind
We are forced
to pick up the slate
Forced to move on
Like it or not
It’s not our choice
But the choice is made
Welcome to tomorrow
Right now the part I don’t like is the part marked in
yellow. It has been suggested that I should
try to paint a better picture. This is
actually pretty hard for me. So I wrote
down some of my brainstorming ideas that I might try to use.
- To many bees in the honey
- Golden honey
- Honey is golden
- Honey tastes sweet
- Honey is sticky
- Flies in the honey trap
- You catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar
- Vinegar is interesting….
- It’s bitter
- Vinegar is an acid.
- Honey and vinegar.
Mr. Davidson, I actually really enjoy this poem. I realize you said you did not like the part in yellow, but that was the part I was drawn to. I'm not sure what this poem means to you, but to me it remind me a lot of the blur of life that happening for me this senior year. As we are taking this journey of moving on, a bittersweet feeling occurs in my head. The "Welcome to tomorrow" gives a sense of excitement of what is to come. The unknown and uncertainty, yet future familiarity, that awaits the life ahead; it makes you want to turn back and savor each moment. But like the past, and like the past of others before us, those days are gone. My past; "She is gone to be with her own kind" and it's now time to welcome tomorrow, my future. Although most of that is a positive way of looking at it, I relate to your poem further in that, well, what choice do I have? What choice do any of us have? We cannot stay in the now forever, but it's frightening to think of the future. I really enjoyed this poem.
ReplyDeleteYou must be a truly interesting person. You turned a negative into a positive!
ReplyDeleteI don't particularly enjoy poetry, because there are so many ways to interpret it. I prefer to have a strict set of rules to follow, with only one outcome. While reading this poem, it made me realize that life isn't going to work that way. You can't control everything and expect it all to work out the way you planned it; and when you make those mistakes, life keeps moving on. This poem makes me think about time, and how it carries everything along. Sometimes it's stressful, and sometimes it's peaceful. This was an insightful poem to read during this time period of my life when I'm applying to college, because it gives me a sense of security. Whether I'm ready for "tomorrow" or not, tomorrow is going to come. But I know I'll survive it because everyone who is "old" was once forced to move on, and here they are still chugging along. This was reassuring to read, because it brought me back to the reality that life goes on and no matter what college I do or don't get into, I'll end up somewhere and it will be what's best for me.
ReplyDeleteI also had a question for you. Why don't you like the highlighted section? There must have been a reason for you to have written it, something inspirational? That was the only part that really made me question "who?" and relate myself to whoever "she" is. Sometimes we write down random thoughts that we look back on and don't understand, but sometimes that's the beauty and intricacy of poetry.
ReplyDeleteMr. Davidson, I feel that this poem really spoke to me as a senior in high school when every day you are forced to think of "what's next?". The first Three lines when you say "Welcome to tomorrow / What is new is old / What is old, is new" this made me think of my thought processes currently. I worry every day frustrated on my decisions for the next year, all these new worries will soon be old worries, but when the time comes for change the old worries will be new again. We are all going to be with are kind, "the college folk" and no matter what all of us are pressured into going to college. I always hear "I don't mind what you study, what you end up doing, you just have to go to school." Of course I want to go to school but it's almost like its not even a choice. Just as your poem says, "Like it or not/ It's not our choice/ But the choice is made." I especially like the enjambment in lines 6 to 7, it really made forced stand out as if it would be said louder, put emotion into the text. This could be interpreted in so many ways, and as for the part you highlighted all I can really say go with what sounds right and means the most for your meaning of the poem. I have to say it would be my favorite part because it was the part of the poem that made me think the most and meant the most to me relating it and interpreting it to my experiences.
ReplyDeleteMr. Davidson, out of all the poetry we have read so far in AP Lit this year your poem has been the easiest for me to feel a connection with, getting ready to leave behind the life I've lived for 17 years. While I enjoyed the entire poem, I specifically liked your highlighted section of the poem because I feel like it gives each individual reader a unique image in our heads of something we have grown to love over time only to have it taken away soon. The "She" in all of our lives, whether it be a girl, family, a pet or your home is enough to make even us seniors look back and *almost* be sad it's almost over. All jokes aside I really enjoyed this poem and look forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteAlmost be sad it's over* oops. As for questions, did you write this for the blog just because we are seniors, or were you just looking back on life? Also, how would you try to put your "honey and vinegar" brainstorm into the poem?
DeleteMr. Davidson,
ReplyDeleteI actually really liked the section in yellow. It gave the poem a very mysterious and ominous tone. You could maybe add a little more description... but I do like that part of your poem.
My interpretation of the poem actually reminded me a bit of my daily life. Some days I just want to curl up in my bed instead of waking up at six in the morning for school, but the choice to get up is already made for me. We are forced to move on to a new day whether we like it or not.
Great first poem! It reminds me of the ones in our textbook. There are so many ways to interpret poetry and everyone sees it differently.
Mr.Davidson,
ReplyDeleteI know you have previously said that it is difficult for you to write poetry, with your career and life experiences is there anything that has actually benefited your challenges while writing poetry?
It fits all together,
ReplyDeleteYou know it does.
Piece by piece connections come,
One here, one there,
It starts to show itself.
A lovely tree, a couple, a rose.
The empty places waiting to be claimed.
While you sit and ponder those,
That you have yet to create.
Poetry is the type of writing where you cannot force it, when I wrote this I just sat and wrote all the rambling thoughts in my head. It is a kind of writing where the pieces come bit by bit until your satisfied with your work. I agree that that it is not something you can plan out.
Student: 445716
Mr. Davidson,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading through your blog because it is interesting to see how one thinks through the process of writing a poem. I'm not particularly the best at interpreting poetry, but it almost always seems to have a different meaning for most people. The way I see this poem is from a different point of view as most other people thought. Instead of it coming from the child who is getting up and leaving to start the rest of their life, I see it from the parents perspective. They are sad that their child will be leaving and a bit apprehensive, but it isn't their choice. The part in yellow "she is gone, to be with her own kind" she (or he) is getting up and moving along with life like her peers. The parents have to pick up what is left and move on, and be okay with their child decision. I also like the way the first and last line are the same. It sort of ties the poem together. I see it as the parents advice to the child "welcome to tomorrow" welcome to the rest of your life.
My question for you is if my interpretations of this poem are correct, have you felt this way towards any of your children (if you have children) ? If not what was your experience like being pushed into the real world after high school?
ReplyDeleteShe lies there
ReplyDeleteCold and untouched
mind racing
soul tracing
wondering who and why
wondering where and when
waiting for something more
student 330312
It seems like the she could be the day that has passed by. "She" is joining her kind, the days lost to the past. Whether we want it to or not, time is always moving forward. "But the choice is made." Our choices are done once we do them. There is no going back. This is at least how I read it. I'm wondering where the inspiration for this came from. Was there a certain day that did not go as you wished?
ReplyDeleteIf I know where I am,
ReplyDeletebut i dont know who I am
Does that make me
lost
I read your poem a few times before I commented because there are so many things happening in it. Just like with any good poem it means one thing to the author or writer and can hold a completely different meaning to the reader.
ReplyDeleteThe diction you used seemed to be formatted so that the reader was pushed through the poem kind of like how we are pushed through a day. I had two thoughts on what you may have been thinking when you wrote this. First I thought you were talking about a day and how it passes but we have no way of stopping it whether we wish to or not. Secondly I thought you could possibly be talking about a child growing up through the parents perspective.
With both thoughts it shows that as humans we cannot control everything that we wish we could. In some ways that is a good thing, if we could all control time than wouldn't we have chaos?
I thought it was interesting that you didn't like the lines where you mentioned a person "she". In the rest of the poem a person is not mentioned which makes the poem appear to be talking about something more non-living or untangible.
In the rest of your choices that you would like use you do not discuss a person again. Instead your choices once again are inanimate objects, honey and vinegar.
I found it interesting that you chose these as they are polar opposites just like new and old and like it or not.
For me the most attention grabbing part of the poem was the beginning and ending where you repeated, welcome to tomorrow. That is phrase we never hear yet we do. What I mean by that is, we never hear the actual phrase "welcome to tomorrow" yet we are constantly preparing for the next minute, the next day, the next month and year.
Your poem opens up a lot of possibilites and was not only a good read but also intriguing which is what all poems should be!
My question to you would be why do you want to take out the person from the poem and replace it with inanimate objects?
ReplyDeleteTalking about turning a negative into a positive, today in a poetry seminar we discussed how just changing a few words can change the entire tone of a poem, like this:
ReplyDeleteThe trips are treasured
They don't occur daily,
but when they do,
they make my week.
Something as fickle as Chex-Mix
and chocolate milk shouldn't bring
such happiness, but
Daddy-Daughter time after
school does.
And then there's this:
The trips were treasured
They didn't occur daily, but
when they did, they
made my week.
Something as fickle as
Chex-Mix and chocolate
milk shouldn't have brought such
happiness, but Daddy-Daughter
time after school used to.
I think the great thing about poetry is that you can constantly revise it and change the tone and even the meaning that you were going for. Having that list of possible changes and/or revisions is a good idea because each one has a different connotation and can change the perspective and viewpoint of the poem.
I have a poem I'd like to share that I thought of today when Mrs. Parker came to talk with our class that kind of deals with the same theme of having to move on, prompted by the sentence "I am from..."
ReplyDeleteI am from the mountains
but sometimes they feel too small
Blue hills on the horizon
I think I've seen it all
in this not so small town.
Winter, spring, summer, fall
I want to get away from it all
people, places, memories
I wonder if Fauquier will remember me.
Mr. Davidson,
ReplyDeleteIt is really interesting to go back and forth between this poem and the one you most recently posted. Poem #2 is more detailed, and clearly is about something cooking. But more so, it is something we can relate to on a daily basis. This poem is also something students can relate to, with senior year being the end of the something and the beginning of something else. But one thing about this poem sticks with me: It's about moving onto tomorrow no matter what. Moving on is one of those abstract lessons that we all have to learn eventually. I say abstract because moving on is something you do, but its not tangible; there are no numbers, no drawings, no words attached. I thinks it is really cool that you wrote about something deep like that. My favorite part of the poem is the enjambment on line 6, it puts strength behind the words. I look forward to some more stuff like this
Mr. Davidson,
ReplyDeleteThe first thing I thought of was that it was interesting that you were writing a poem with this sort of theme. Personally, I can relate because I am a young adult about to enter the read world, whether I "like it or not." However, I found it interesting that you were writing about this because you are an adult who is settled, has a job and a family, and has life pretty much wrapped around your finger right now. Also, about the part written in yellow: I really like how it brings the poem together. The poem itself is speaking about how we really don't have a chance to make our own choices, fate pretty much decides things and we have to go through with things no matter what. The part in yellow embodies this and acts as a central tension point in the poem. You should also keep it because it is the only place in the poem with something that's animate. It makes the poem more real, more like a person thought about it from their heart.
Also, I thought your thought process at the end was intriguing. You started off with honey, something sweet and good. Then it turned into vinegar, something bitter. You brought together two contrasting things, something you also did throughout the poem. Your style is different and really good and I think you should continue to write poems. I'm looking forward to reading more from you!
Also, I have a question for you. You said you were always looking for inspiration for things for you to write about. What was your inspiration for this poem? Were you thinking of yourself when you were in high school? Or maybe present day? I'm interested to hear what you have to say! Another thing, did your inspiration, whatever it was, play into you writing about the woman in the poem? It is a little out of the blue, so I'm just curious. :)
ReplyDeleteIn my car,
ReplyDeleteI am who I am.
The oldies blaring,
No one caring,
No pretending.
Time to take a break,
With me, myself, and I.
Only the road ahead of me.
Only me in my car.
number of comment above: 115914
ReplyDeleteWho is "she"? Are you referring to tomorrow or yesterday?
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem. It is only the truth. It sounds like a negative thing because life goes by so fast that you hardly have the time to take it in. Then again, this could be a good thing. People make mistakes every day, but we have to move on from it. People dwell on the past way too much, without realizing what that it's over and done with.Tomorrow can bring something new, which can completely cause the terrible thing that happened yesterday to disappear. This leaves no room for regret because what is the point? You can't change the past, so why regret things that happened in the past? We can change our regrets by changing the present, which changes the future. People make mistakes for a reason and focusing on the past will not help you with the present. Focusing on the past will only make things worse and cause more brain damage. Move on and learn from your mistakes. I would really like to know if you intending for this poem to be negative or positive?
ReplyDeleteI find your thinking process fascinating I have to be honest though I don't quite understand it yet but I am excited to read more and learn more. Also, I find your endeavor to write poetry inspiring and I want to congratulate you on a successful job. Now to the poetry. Before I start to give my opinion I need you to understand that I truly do like your poetry and I want to encourage you to continue writing so I am going to critique you but only to hopefully make you better.
ReplyDeleteYour poem is good however I can't quite see where it's going. I love the premise of tomorrow and the poem definitely has a clear feeling to it. I am aware that you dislike the highlighted lines however those are my favorite two lines. "to be with her own kind" is a line that just stood out to me it made me stop to think about what you could have meant. To be honest the 2nd and 3rd lines were my least favorite the idea behind them I did like though so I though about it and realized why you may dislike the highlighted lines and its because the transition between lines 3 and 4 is a little strange. So my advice to you is to work on a transition there and don't be afraid to elongate the poem as a whole. Though to fix the 2nd and 3rd lines our guest poet said something that might help you, "think that each word cost you money would you really pay for words like 'the' or 'a' or repeat things unless they were very important." In a poem each word needs to mean something important because you use of words is so much more limited than if you were writing a story or were talking for example.
Mr. Davidson,
ReplyDeleteWhen I was writing my college essays, I decided to write one of the about the poem "The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock." When we studied this poem in Mrs. Krasny's class, it really appealed to me. I knew though, that I had to learn more about poetry, more than I had learned in Mrs. Krasnys, in order to write a whole essay about this one poem. Upon emerging into the realm of poetry, if you may, I started viewing this differently, as you said you did, too. Instead of just looking at the autumn leaves as just a "pretty sight," I started to find deeper meaning for them, started to look past the first layer. I found myself constantly thinking, "What could I write about this scene?" or "What adjectives could be used to described by this?" As you said you now look for inspiration, I found myself doing the same. It was odd, because before I had never wondered what I could write about something or how I could describe it. Basically, I can completely relate to what you started to notice once you dived deeper into poetry.
Onto your poem, this one really made me think. Poems with short lines that don't have extensive detail really challenge me; they're hard for me to decipher. Right now I think I am still looking at the top layer of the onion, not diving deep enough, but I'm trying. Right now I see that there is a woman who leaves to be with others that she is more like, and the ones that she leaves behind are forced to to take on her duties (that's what I think of when I hear "pick up the slate") Basically what I'm getting is that we can't change are destiny, or what happens to us, we have to accept it and move on, because "The choice is made." Also, I like the enjambment that you added with "She is gone/To be with her own kind/We are forced/to pick up the slate." It really shows that this is the most important part of the poem. That her leaving creates such a great effect on the ones around her. Overall, I'm really liking the poem. It is somewhat of a challenge for me to read, but I like challenging poems, I like to have to think about what could be the real meaning.
I know that the yellow was meant to make clear that you didn't like that part of the poem, but it interested me because it gave me the idea that you could possibly try making use of color intentionally in your poetry. Color is great for symbolism and for setting a mood or tone; you could use not just the word but the up-front appearance of it, too. You were also talking about honey and bees and things - and I like the way you made an organized list of your ideas, too (very logical, very engineering-minded) - so I was thinking that if you combined that verbal imagery with color we can see, the poem might have that much stronger an effect.
ReplyDeleteMuch like Ashley, I interpreted this poem from the perspective of a recent high school graduate embarking on the journey that is the next step in our lives, whether it be college, work, or something else entirely.
ReplyDeleteI will soon be at this point, and although I have been applying to colleges and I am fully intent on enrolling in a four-year institution, I have seriously been considering taking a gap year to either do a study abroad or do some environmental science work with AmeriCorps. I say this because, "Welcome to Tomorrow" reminded me of the current uncertainty that I feel lies ahead. It's not like I'm just stuck on deciding what college I want to go to, I am not even sure what I'm doing next year at all. It's weird because, my whole life, up until this point, has been one big plan. Each no situation that arose, I knew was coming, and I'd had it decided well in advance. Things were never this up in the air. But I guess that's part of growing up, and part of adulthood. Which got me thinking, that maybe adulthood is tomorrow. We don't choose to become adults, it just happens to us, whether we are ready or not. We're "forced to move on/ like it or not/ it's not our choice." That wording is so negative. Not pessimistic, as it is accurate, but it is kind of like an honest look at what growing up is like. When you're young, you spend so much time wishing you're older, wanting to experience the things adults experience and live in independence. Yet your poem kind of made me realize that adulthood is not what we all anticipate at all.
With that in mind, I wrote a poem of my own about growing up. I tried to make this one rhyme, just because when a line of poetry or from a song means something, it really sticks out to me, but when it strikes my ear as well as my mind in a unique way, I am not likely to forget it.
A time to dance carelessly
A state of play eternal
Living wild and recklessly
In a season forever vernal
But what is forever really?
This, ideally.
Of what lies beyond, I am unsure
It’s hard to contemplate
Yet as I play and dance, the lure
Of the future grows more and more great
But what is the future really?
More of this, Ideally.
I realize how literal and obvious this poem is. I’m going to work and try to create a more abstract picture and post again. All your poems use description of ideas and feelings and emotions to convey the message. That is something that I've always had trouble with. What allows you to create a picture? How do you go about commencing with one of your poems?
One thing that is a gift and a curse about poetry is that it so so widely open to interpretation. I personally don't like this aspect of poetry because it I just want to know what the author of the poem wanted to portray, because isn't the point of poetry for the author to display his views and experiences and display it to the audience? In the first 5 lines of your poem I interpreted it to be about a person stuck at the same point in their life where everyday is day is the same day and just waiting for change, but then the this person is subjected to change when a choice is made on the subject of this "She" leaving and forcing the person to accept change and move on with their life. I would leave the highlighted section because that is where the story is made and it allows the reader to create their own story using the details of your words.
ReplyDeleteThe First thing that caught my eye when I came to your blog was your title and I thought it was really interesting and that it would be cool to have a poem with no spaces between words.
Why DoWePutSpacesBetweenOurWords?
Without ThemOurWordsAreHurds
Spaces AreWhatMakeMeAndYou
What DoSpacesReallyDo?
Are WordsWithoutSpacesLame?
We CanEasilyReadThemJustTheSame
My question for Mr. Davidson is what inspires you? What Drives you to put your words into stanzas and create poetry to show the world?
ReplyDeleteHey Mr. Davidson,
ReplyDeleteWhen I read your poem I immediately thought of someone leaving or losing someone. I thought about how strange it is that we go from being content with our lives to meeting someone and when they leave the life that was once fine and rewarding becomes mundane and empty. I guess I just really got hung up on the whole “What is new is old/what’s old, is new” part. I saw how you wanted to incorporate the whole honey and vinegar idea and I think that would really confuse the reader on the actual subject of the poem. So my question is why do poets, or at least you, feel as though you should throw your audience off with abstract concepts rather than having them figure out the true subject of a poem? Do you think a poem that is figurative is better than one that is blunt or vice versa? And why?
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