I decided to give this a quick try with out brainstorming. Let me know if you can figure out what I'm talking about.
The air is crisp
The color has changed
Tinder is afoot
Phosphorus across the board
Chemical change occurs
Oxygen supplied
It breaths, it eats, it lives!
The hunt begins
Searching, stalking… discovery
Confectionery delight
Culinary imperfection
Heat application
Caramelization, ignition
Extinguish to perfection
What do you think?
My guess may be so off from what you are thinking, but I'll give it a try. I think that you are talking about a pumpkin dessert made from a pumpkin found in the pumpkin patch. "The air is crisp" in line one and "colors has changed" in line two leads me to imagine a Fall day in the country. Then it cuts to the baking of the dish (dessert) because of the chemical change that is happening in line 5. The reason why I think it is a pumpkin dessert because of the phosphorus hint in line 4, along with the "hunt" in line 8 to find the perfect pumpkin to use. Next, it flashes back to the baking of the dessert with the descriptions of how it looks. In the end, "extinguish" (line 14) means that the entire dessert is gone.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, Mr. Davidson, this is really good! It’s hard to imagine a technology teacher with such a straight-to-the-point thinking process, to make a mysterious poem. I really like how you used some visual rhyming, along with alliteration. However, my favorite part of your poem is the “stalking” in line 9. If my guess is right, the best part of finding the best pumpkin to use is to look at all the other pumpkins with different imperfections, which makes it unique. I can’t wait to find out what you are talking about!
You know what's fun about this? You read this and don't picture the same thing that I did when I was writing it. I'm THRILLED that the "stalking" part is your favorite part. When I read it thinking what you are thinking it totally fits.
DeleteCorrect me if I'm wrong, but is this about roasting marshmallows?
DeleteMy one question for you, Mr. Davidson, why did you call the culinary creation imperfect in line 11? Was this dessert made a mistake?
ReplyDeleteHmmm.....I do it on purpose.
DeleteThis is really intriguing because of the diction that you use. I think that if someone were to read this poem, it would be much easier to read if they knew some background on you and all the cool things that you've done. For me, though, this poem seems to be about Creme Brule, but that's just a poke. I would think that you have an interest in the torch and workings of it, considering your background!
ReplyDeleteI have done lots of things, and I love trying new things all the time, but Ihave no idea what Creme Brule is? Is it good?
Deletecreme brulee is a flamed dessert
DeleteMy question, though, is what does the "searching" and "stalking" apply to?
ReplyDeleteIt's part of the process needed to acheive perfection.
DeleteSo life- like
ReplyDeleteI feel its stare
it's cold, dead as it falls upon me
It stalks me while I shop
As i touch and contemplate,
as I accept and reject
Dressed up like you and I
It stalks me while I shop
Prisoner: 106836
Sometimes for fun I pretend to be Prisoner: 106836. The old ladies laugh.
DeleteYou're right about writing a poem, that it has to be immediate. You can't plan out a poem the way you plan out a story. You write it verbatim as it comes to you. It's more about in-the-moment feelings than it is about background research.
ReplyDeleteIs that what I said? Because I'm currently working on one about an axe. Well, It's not actually about an axe, but the axe is the object. I'm going to try and get that one up in the next couple of days.
DeleteIt took me a little bit of thought, and I could be completely wrong, but is this about Thanksgiving? As the others have noticed, you seem to be talking about fall. The starting setting is outside in the fall air, and when the "Chemical change occurs" I picture, not only the leaves changing colors, but also the production of oxygen from carbon dioxide into the "crisp air." So we are talking about trees. This happens to be exactly what you go into in the next sentence. And this oxygen from the trees is being supplied to an animal; an animal being hunted. A turkey perhaps? And the "hunt begins" for the perfect Thanksgiving dinner, a dinner that needs to be so perfect that the hunt becomes obsessive... to the point of seemingly "stalking." But then "discovery" and ah it is found. The next few lines would represent the process of the cooking; the "culinary imperfection" perhaps representing a first time cooker? Just some thoughts.I could be completely off but your seasonal words reminded me of the warm and cozy holiday.
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome! It's not what I was thinking when I wrote it, but I think that it is so cool that you bring new ideas to the poem!
DeleteMy question is, if my interpretation is correct, what does phosphorus have to do with fall? Is that something common during the season? Or does it mean something entirely different? Just curious...
ReplyDelete"Phosphorus across the board" is not common to a specific season.
DeleteWhen I read this poem, I think of the current season-Fall. “The fall crisp air,” when all signs of summer slowly start to disappear. The color of the leaves has changed; nothing is green and bright anymore but more reds, yellows and oranges begin to fill the landscape. When I read “Tinder is afoot Phosphorus across the board,” I pictured bonfires late at night, a signature of fall. “Chemical changes” would be the leaves changing, from bright green to burnt red.
ReplyDeleteThen the poem seems to change from description to incentive-driven. Reading “The hunt begins searching, stalking…discovery” made me think of a turkey, and the hunt for the perfect Thanksgiving meal. At least that’s how I interpreted it. However, the turkey hunt described is not like most modern day turkey hunts-in the grocery store. Instead, this search is in the woods, hunting for a wild turkey. It reminded me of the ways many people hunted for food decades ago, that was the only way to feed the family. After the turkey has been “discovered,” he transforms into a tasty meal. I thought it was a creative use of the line “Confectionery delight” yet contradicting when the following line states “Culinary imperfection.” Those two lines made me believe that although it was a success when hunting and cooking the turkey, maybe it was burnt or cooked wrong. For some reason it made me remember the Christmas classic “National Lampoons Family Christmas Vacation.” Where the whole family is ready to eat, and the turkey practically falls apart it is so burnt; Culinary imperfection.
Cool interpretation!
DeleteI find it interesting that you put "Tinder is afoot Phosphorus across the board" together. I would have put "Phosphorus across the board" and "Chemical change occurs" but who am I to tell you what to think? I like your interpretation.
In interpreted it as a turkey and the signs of fall, but there are so many parts of fall. It’s funny how so many people read this poem as something different than the next person. How can something so descriptive be so vague? My question to you is, because this seems like a poem based upon the process of some event, is “culinary imperfection” a good or bad part of this process? Imperfection is in everything, but it can either be good or bad. So is this this “imperfection” part that makes this event so anticipated?
ReplyDeleteIt is my only my opinion that this culinary delight is a culinary imperfection. Someone else might argue differently.
DeleteIf I understand your second question correctly, The "imperfection" is the whole purpose of the poem.
Its funny how everyone can agree that the poem is most likely about fall, but for the second half everyone has their own ideas of what the poem is trying to describe. I noticed that quite a few people mentioned a turkey dinner, but I actually thought of apple pie!
ReplyDeleteThe word 'confectionary' made me think of sugar and followed by the word delight, it seconded the idea that it was referring to dessert. The word 'carmelization' then reminded me of carmelized apples, the best part of apple pie!
The chemical changes and change of color mentioned in the first few lines made me think of leaves in fall and the line 'tinder is afoot' reminded me of a forest. I then pictured an apple orchard and a person searching for, then discovering their perfect fruit to make a pie.
I believe this is a great poem that really requires some thinking. it obviously leaves some room for interpretation as well. As Mrs. Krasny says, a poem has many layers and if none of us have been able to guess the true meaning of your poem then that must be a good sign!
My question is, do you think your background in engineering hinders or aids in your ability to write poetry? For example, do you feel as if it might give you a perspective that differs from others who are not as familiar with engineering?
ReplyDeleteI always like a good challenge. My brain wants answers and being and engineer, I want precise answers. I was never good at the "mind games" people play with each other. I tend to be pretty direct. So I think being an engineer hurts me. Mrs. Krasny says otherwise. She is probably right.
DeleteAs much as I aspire to be a writer, I’ll always be a scientist at heart. I think the same goes for you. But you’re actually much better at incorporating your love of science into your poetry. It could have been intentional or maybe it was subconscious. With that in mind, when I read the line “Chemical change occurs,” I actually think of fire, which in turn makes me think of cooking. I’m not sure if this was intended or not, but it certainly got me thinking about turning on the oven and stove and beginning my Thanksgiving day meal preparations. We I read your poem I think of how a kitchen comes alive when you begin cooking, especially when cooking holiday meals. There’s simmering and sizzling and popping and steaming. Timers are going off and people are running to and fro. The line, “confectionary delight” reminds me of the feeling of success after a well-cooked meal that I cannot wait to eat. This poem as a whole reminds me of the anticipation felt when cooking holiday meals with my family.
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem! I'll be honest, I'm not quite sure what it's talking about, but I can try. From the comments I've been reading, the consensus is that it's about fall. I would sort of have to agree, because it does speak of the air becoming more crisp and the color changing (in lines 1 and 2). The part I'm stuck on begins with "confectionery delight". Someone had said, I think Olivia, that it could be about marshmallows. And personally, I completely see that! You talk about heat being applied and then extinguished, and somehow it makes the "culinary imperfection" unique and imperfect. With a marshmallow, this would definitely take place. However, I'm not sure if marshmallows can be caramelized... hmmmm... Regardless, I really like your writing style. It's very precise and easy to follow, and almost sort of has a rhythmic beat to all of the words. My favorite line is probably "it breaths, it eats, it lives!" I don't know why, because that's one of the lines that left me a bit confused, but it's definitely one of the coolest lines by far! :)
ReplyDeleteI like that line too! So let us see something that you write!
DeleteAnd my question is: how long does it take for you to write a poem? I can't write a poem to save my life, and after I've written like 20 drafts/wasted 3 hours of my life, I'll just throw everything I wrote away. Do you ever give up on poems that you start writing?
ReplyDeleteHey, Mr Davidson, first of all, props to you for your bravery.
ReplyDeleteI know personally, I get nervous when I have to read something that I wrote to my English class, much less post it online for everyone and us Literature students to analyze like we have been trained to do. Also, props for trying something new and our of your element. I know that I would feel completely lost if I was asked to design something for a Tech class because that is so far out of my element.
As Mrs. Krasny has taught us, poems are like onions; they have multiple layers.
As I read your poem for the first time, the first layer that I got out of it was that it was about fall, a pretty manifest content conclusion. I assume that you got the inspiration from the changing leaves, perhaps outside your classroom in the courtyard?
I think where you write your poetry is almost as important as the words you use to write the poem itself. The location can provide a lot of inspiration.
Even as you transition and try out poetry as an engineer, I like that you still show a piece of you through the poetry. The lines "Tinder is afoot, Phosphorus across the board, Chemical change occurs, and Oxygen supplied" reminded me of the scientific side of you. It is so important that you do not lose yourself when you are trying something new or transitioning to a new phase in your life- as so many of us seniors are preparing to do as we move onto college and leave the safe haven of high school behind. Then the next lines of your poem reminded me of Thanksgiving. The line, Culinary imperfection, made me think of the chaos of Thanksgiving day. Mothers yelling at you to clean up, family members running all around the place, cousins trying to mess with you, the stress of the day just piles on. But as you said, Extinguish to perfection, as the family members gather around the table, it seems as though the stress of the day "extinguishes" into thin air, a sense of peace waves over you and you enjoy and feel blessed for your family. Now my question is, everything that I typed above was just my feelings as I read your poem, what did you actually mean or what thoughts were making the gears in your head turn as you wrote this poem?
Quick side note: this poem has a similar style to that of Ernest Hemmingway. We learned in class just the other day that he was a minimalist, in fact, he believed that you could tell a story in 6 words. This style of your poem, is that your preferred style? I know for research papers that i have written, the objective that teachers hammer into our heads is concise, concise, and concise. There is no room for flowery writing in a research paper for science. Is that the way that your mind works since you are such a scientifically driven thinker?
WOW! I guess you are right about that scientific side of me. I hadn't thought of it that way, but you are right. Mrs. Krasny and I have been discussing those exact things. Maybe this poem is better than I thought.
DeleteAnd to answer your question: I don't have an answer. I wrote this with a particular activity in mind that brings me great joy. I think it is fantastic that you interpret this as Thanksgiving dinner. That means that to you it is blissful to sit with your family and enjoy each others company.
Piecing through the lines of this poem, I definitely thought marshmallows. The first eight... nine lines seem to be about fire, and my favorite moment was "It breathes, it eats, it lives!" The tinder, the chemical change of ignition, eating both oxygen and, presumably, wood. The idea of the fire as hunting, stalking like a predator was fairly unique, and it gave that first half a neat sort of building motion until... What I see as the marshmallow. I thought of confectionery delight as the untoasted marshmallow, a culinary imperfection until it has been not just toasted but, apparently, burnt. Caramelization would be the first step, turning the sugar golden brown, but in the ignition, the fire seems to have succeeded in its hunt, but - luckily enough for the roaster - the burnt version is perfect, a sentiment I quite agree with. The only line I couldn't quite fit into my vision was the one about phosphorous. I thought some sort of fire starter, but 'across the board' adds an interesting dimension that doesn't quite seem to fit. Is this part of the description of the fire, or still just part of the setting like the first three lines?
ReplyDeleteI believe that "the phosphorus across the board" could be a reference to striking a match. The head of the match usually contains phosphorus, which ignites when it is struck "across the board", AKA a matchbook. I agree with the rest of your analysis that the poem is about a camp fire and roasting a marshmallow. I believe the first three lines serve to set the scene for this autumn campfire. I like how the poem blends the joy of roasting and eating a marshmallow with the more scientific side of fire. Science terms serve to replace more common terms for the process, which gives the process of roasting a marshmallow a more scientific quality. I noticed you posted this in October. Did your inspiration come from memory or a more recent campfire?
DeleteThat... makes a lot of sense, and it completely fits with the rest of how I interpreted it. I suppose going into a science-minded poem, I should have immediately considered that a bit of research might be in order.
DeleteM Dollison: This is an interesting take on the poem. Some people HATE burnt marshmallows so only someone who loves them like you do would consider it perfection.
DeleteJhoulscher: To answer you question: Yes. I love a good campfire. There is hardly a better feeling then lying on the dirt with the warmth of a fire on your face and the crisp night air against your back.
When I first read this poem, I thought of roasting marshmallows on a cool, fall night. The air is crisp, the leaves are changing, and a fire is burning. Oxygen is supplied to the flame and it breathes, eats and lives. I thought that was such an interesting way to describe a fire... I have never thought of a flame personified like that.
ReplyDeleteThen in the last few lines, i sensed a marshmallow over a fire, baking in the heat, carmelizing, and then blowing out the flame to see the perfection underneath the heat. I feel very confident in saying that I think I uncovered the hidden meaning of your poem. But you could have written this thinking about something completely different, which is the most fascinating thing about poetry. A million people could read one poem and all the interpretations could be different. But even with all those ideas none of them are really wrong because poetry speaks to everyone differently.
The only lines of your poem I didn't understand was "The hunt begins / Searching, stalking… discovery." It didn't really fit into my idea, but maybe you were searching to make the perfect smore? Let me know how you interpreted those lines.
Great start to your poems! I'm really enjoying them.
Brooke: I am glad that you are enjoying them. I would love to read something that you write/wrote. To be honest reading everyone's comments is helping me with some good internal reflection. I'm actually starting to feel like a poet. Post something up so I can read it.
Delete(PAGE 1/2) Immediately, upon reading the first couple lines, I assumed the poem would be about the season of autumn (as it seems most of the other students did as well). I was expecting discussion of leaves falling and an awkward middle ground between life and death, because I feel like that is the cliche'd fall poem's theme. The ephemeral nature of the seasons and their symbolism of change is a commonly used motif. Yet this was a pleasant surprise. First you showed off your scientific side by discussing the changes in terms of the elements created. In reading this, I felt a bit confused. Intrigued, rather. This defied my expectations and I struggled to make sense of the poem. As I kept reading, my idea changed and I began to see this as a description of earth and how it has evolved and changed overtime, and how it continues to evolve and change. I'm not sure if that's what you meant, but I'll explain how I came to that conclusion. (As an interesting side note, I find this experiment cool in that it looks at how poetry writing changes when done from an engineer's point of view. So, too, do interpretations of poems. I consider myself a very environmentally conscious person, and I feel like I have been relating everything that I read back to Earth, its wonder, and its resources. I think you'll find a bit of that coming through in my interpretation.) Anyways, back to the idea. When I read "Chemical change occurs/ oxygen supplied/ it breathes, it eats, it lives," I began to think that this was not really a poem about fall. Perhaps because I associate seasons in which temperatures drop with death and dying, an end to the lively periods of spring and summer. Instead, I thought of chemical reactions that might result in a first breath and my mind immediately went to the earth and the initial formation and accumulation of breathable oxygen. It's weird to me how we went from a completely uninhabitable, hot and toxic planet to what we are today. And it was all through chemical reactions! Radiation from the sun and reactions with organic molecules created the most primitive lifeforms and their evolution to create photosynthesis caused us to accumulate the oxygen we needed to carry the diverse set of organisms we do today. It was indeed a chemical reaction, and I imagine that, from an onlooker's perspective, the formation of the first living thing on earth would have been much anticipated. Breathing, living in itself such an unimaginable feat. Then as organisms really evolved, we got plants and animals instead of just bacteria. The animals in particular with their development of backbones and motility, their use of resources and tools, and their unique and complex methods of sexual reproduction were such a far cry from those early bacteria from which we all evolved. Humans are at the peak of this, as our arrival changed the face of this planet irreversibly and in quite profound ways. We began our long streak of domination and destruction, preying on just about anything, even those animals larger than us (through the use of complex tools), for food. That's how I interpreted the hunt you described. "The hunt begins/ Searching, stalking… discovery." This made me think about our stealthy nature and how it had led us to a great many technological advancements (or "discoveries"! HINT HINT).
ReplyDelete(PAGE 2/2) Then you began discussion of confections "Confectionery delight/ Culinary imperfection/ Heat application/ Caramelization, ignition/ Extinguish to perfection". Admittedly, this did not fit perfectly into my earthly interpretation. However, being the stubborn person that I am, I believe I was determined to make something out of it that truly fit with what I was just describing. I thought of it as a fast forward. Look at humans and our eating habits today. It seems we've conquered the world, made anything and everything our prey, so our "hunt" is over. Now we're just enjoying it all. Soaking it in, I guess. It made me think of how we seem to put a lot of unnecessary focus on many insignificant things. In your poem, that would be the "culinary imperfections" we seem to make, as when we undercook or overcook something a bit beyond our specified preferences. Years ago, we ate any meats, and didn't care whether or not they were seasoned to perfection. Anyways, this was a crazy long tangent that I went on. I don't really think any of this is what you meant, but it's just what I got out of the poem, you know what I mean? Anyways, I guess that because the poem is about confection and discusses fall time, it is probably about the cooking of some Thanksgiving-y food, as many others before me have discussed. The idea that it is a marshmallow seems popular, but I wouldn't think of that as something that "breathes". And I feel as though that scent, being more distinctive, would have been mentioned. I liked what Rollin said about creme brulee, but given your response, I don't that that's it. As Justin said, phosphorous across the board did make me think of striking a match, but maybe the match would be struck to light a candle or something of that sort. This makes me think the poem may be discussing a Thanksgiving dinner as a whole. The sights and sounds, as experienced from a scientific mind. That would explain discussions of fall, confections, candles, and hunts (the turkey). But again, this may just be the proximity of Thanksgiving talking, as I have once again proven that I seem to only look at poems from my own perspective. I am so excited for Thanksgiving it's not even funny. Great Job by the way!
ReplyDeleteWow. that's pretty deep. Poetry is really hard for me. I guess I'm not that deep of a person. I wouldn't have been a good architect, because I want precision down to 0.003 of an inch. So for me this is like drawing a line with a soft lead pencil, and then smudging it with your hand and then pulling words from the edge of the smudge. As an engineer I want to grab an eraser and erase the smudge. Does that make sense?
DeleteHaha thanks! I find that the more of my thoughts I get written down, the more likely it is that something I say is of value. But poetry is hard for me too!
DeleteAnd as far as what you were saying, I'm not sure I understand. Are you saying that as a poet you are forced to think of an idea you want to relay or a picture you want to display (the drawing), but to make it true poetry you need to pull from the minor details or the obscure characteristics of something (pulling words from the edge of the smudge)? Then as an engineer, I guess, this goes against your inclination to get rid of the uncertainty, to describe the idea or picture directly and precisely, rather than to do so in a sort of roundabout, abstract way. Am I totally off? Let me know!
I was delighted to read the poem and was even more so when I read some of the comments. I find it amazing that a poem that does not mention any of the necessary components of s'mores or marshmallows can still create the sensation of gathering around a campfire on a late summer-fall night. It recreates the joyous feeling everyone gets when they cook over the most primitive of cooking devices, fire. The personification of the fire captures the movement perfectly. When I look at fire I see the same fire-like monster eating the wood as we constantly have to supply it with more. To read this brought me right back to just earlier this year when my family gathered around the fire pit on the patio and cooked marshmallows. It is so cool that these feelings can be brought about by the description of a chemical reaction.
ReplyDeleteYou all are just blowing my mind! I'm glad that this made you happy even if only for a moment.
DeleteFor some reason this poem made me extremely hungry. In fact, I had to take a commercial break in between reading the poem and writing this comment to eat. Let us begin now on a full stomach.Through this poem I saw a story, which often I do not see right from the get go. Where others I have noticed from the comments are reminded of Thanksgiving and food, I can not get the image of a tree out of my mind.
ReplyDelete"Oxygen supplied
It eats, it breaths it lives."
TREE! It's a fall tree going through it's annual ritual of color changes. Then all of a sudden it's predator, the man, stalks it and finds it, and just in its prime of red and orange beauty, it's chopped down to another being's version of "perfection." From there it is thrown in the fire to provide the heat for the man's family. Imperfection for the tree is perfection for the human. I loved it!
Nice interpretation! I think it is so cool that everyone can see so many different things in some abstract vision in my head that I put on paper.
DeleteAlso I was told to insert some poems. I've got three ready to be posted on this little blog comment.
ReplyDeleteStress
Stress and stress and stress and stress
and one could not stress it enough.
Overridden with this emotion
until redemption in the form of a letter is received
Music filled the car.
No destination, just drive.
Only Dad and I.
No destination.
In each other's company
We were still lonely.
and last but not least
I am from "normality."
From my brother's crazy antics
and his obnoxious way of like
to my mother's pixie voice
that giggles out offensive jokes.
Even to my father:
The Emotional Roller Coaster
and then there's me
a combinations of all three.
And we are all completely normal.
Thank you for posting some of your own poems. Let me try what you guys have been doing for me.
ReplyDeleteThe first poem is AWESOME. I think you did a great job. I think it's obvious that this is about stressing out about college and the entire application process. BUT This could be applied to the feeling one would get after a job interview. OR maybe a high school athlete would worry about actually receiving a letter. Or maybe this could be a meeting with a doctor after getting results of a lab test. I love the poem!
The second poem is interesting because to me it's very sad. Music brings joy to many, but sometimes when my daughters ask if we can turn on the radio in the car, and I say to them, " I won't be able to hear all of the wonderful things you have to say." As much joy as music can bring, it it is actually lonely to the listener. The musicians themselves connect on a different level.
#3 the first time I read it it sounded like you have figured out where you fit in your family. But the more that I read it, it sounds like you are tryign to figure out where you fit in your family.
Cool poems. Thanks for sharing! It's hard putting yourself out there like that!
Reading this poem left me feeling happy and warm inside. I'm assuming you're talking about the Fall with the "the color has changed" referencing the leaves. Personally Fall is my favorite season. The smells, colors, and crispness of the air are what draw me in to this season and what also drew me into you're poem. When you talked about "confectionary delight" and "heat application" it reminded me of all my favorite treats that are focused around this season. Confectionary makes me think of pies and pumpkin rolls. The descriptive words you used actually began to make me hungry as I started to actually imagine in my mind the taste and smell of them. The line "the hunt begins" reminds me of Thanksgiving and the hunt for the turkey to eat. The use of the words "searching" and "discovery" remind me of when me and my uncles would go out to search for a turkey and we would search for hours and hours, growing rather impatient. Once we discovered one it was the best feeling. What really caught my eye is how you used both the words imperfection and perfection to end the poem. I thought about Thanksgiving at my house and how sometimes the food doesn't turn out right, or someone burns my favorite dish. Then I think about all those imperfections and how they don't seem to matter because I'm around my family and that's what makes it perfect. That's just a thought I had. I really enjoyed reading your poem. It reminded me a lot of my favorite things about this season and also the way you wrote it was neat to see. My question is how are you able to come up with ideas that spark your poems? I struggle figuring out what to write about majority of the time. Does it just come naturally or is it something you have to brainstorm?
ReplyDeleteReading this poem left me feeling happy and warm inside. I'm assuming you're talking about the Fall with the "the color has changed" referencing the leaves. Personally Fall is my favorite season. The smells, colors, and crispness of the air are what draw me in to this season and what also drew me into you're poem. When you talked about "confectionary delight" and "heat application" it reminded me of all my favorite treats that are focused around this season. Confectionary makes me think of pies and pumpkin rolls. The descriptive words you used actually began to make me hungry as I started to actually imagine in my mind the taste and smell of them. The line "the hunt begins" reminds me of Thanksgiving and the hunt for the turkey to eat. The use of the words "searching" and "discovery" remind me of when me and my uncles would go out to search for a turkey and we would search for hours and hours, growing rather impatient. Once we discovered one it was the best feeling. What really caught my eye is how you used both the words imperfection and perfection to end the poem. I thought about Thanksgiving at my house and how sometimes the food doesn't turn out right, or someone burns my favorite dish. Then I think about all those imperfections and how they don't seem to matter because I'm around my family and that's what makes it perfect. That's just a thought I had. I really enjoyed reading your poem. It reminded me a lot of my favorite things about this season and also the way you wrote it was neat to see. My question is how are you able to come up with ideas that spark your poems? I struggle figuring out what to write about majority of the time. Does it just come naturally or is it something you have to brainstorm?
ReplyDeleteMr. Davidson,
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this a few times I have a question for you: are you more comfortable writing poems that can be related to STEM education, or does it just come more naturally? This poem is really smooth compared to the first one you posted, so it is just a thought.
I think that this poem is about a number of things, all of which tie together. The first two lines of your poem made me think that the poem is about Fall. But then your next couple of lines, from "Tinder is afoot" to "It breaths, it eats, it lives!" made me think of a fire. Especially the "Oxygen supplied/It breaths, it eats, it lives!" lines. Fire needs oxygen to keep it going, and I like how you conveyed this in "It breaths, it eats, it lives!". These lines paired with the rest of the poem made me think of s'mores. When you write that "The hunt begins/Searching, stalking...discovery" it made me think of finding the perfect Marshmallow to cook over the fire. So you combined Fall, a fire, and making s'mores into one poem. I really like how many interpretations this poem can have. In all honesty, making s'mores wasn't the only thing I thought this poem could be about. I also thought of hunting and apple picking and then making an apple pie. To me, parts of this poem can be grouped together to sound like an entirely new poem, and I think that that is really unique.
ReplyDeleteI just realized: when you write that "The color has changed" you never make any mention of trees or it being Fall. In fact, you don't say what has changed color, just that something has changed. Did you do this on purpose? Or did you write it so that if we can figure out what the poem is actually about, we'll understand what is changing color?
ReplyDeleteAnd even though you are an engineering teacher, does that mean you'll always write about engineer-y things? Or will you use your knowledge of engineering and science to write about something as simple as toasting a marshmallow and make it sound scientific?
Mr, Davidson,
ReplyDeleteI have visited your blog many times over the past month dabbling at what I wanted to comment. For lack of a better cliche, I have a love hate relationship with poetry. I first learned how to write poems in elementary school, and I found so much joy in story telling. I'm serious, I would need more than two hands to count the amount of notebooks I have scattered around my house that are filled with my old short stories, songs, and poems. Writing came easily, and I used as an outlet for my feelings...my little 7 year old feelings. It wasn't until Middle School when I learned the rules of poetry and began reading the work of well known poems. At the time, I did not understand the meaning of the rules, and I felt they were restriction. When it came to reading poems, I no longer saw them as an outlet, but would look at them as a problem waiting to be solved. Maybe that's the daughter of two math teachers coming out in me, but I spent way too much time scanning a poem for clues. I didn't realize back then that what I was trying to do was impossible; I was trying to find the sole answer to a self interpreted problem. Now high school is coming to an end, and I'm taking another crack at poetry. So far, I'm experiencing a little bit of a combination of my elementry and middle school thoughts, but i'll admit I like your idea for a blog. Surprisingly enough, I have found almost as much joy in reading your poems as I have reading the other students understandings.
The one line I am continuing to recite from this poem is "extinguish to perfection." The first time I read the poem, I instantly, much like everyone else, thought fall. The second reading, much like everyone else, I thought food in the fall. The third time reading, I could not decide whether that line, "extinguish to perfection" was about the preparing, the cooking, or the consumtion of the dish. The extinguish could mean opening all the packages of ingredients after grocery shopping, and seeing the formation of the meal. It could mean the change of the dish before and after it has been cooked or left the oven. Finally, could mean eating all the delicious food, and the content feelings following. Maybe saying though the food was gone or destroyed, it was perfection in the body. But I have not a clue! Could you please tell me, no matter how off my interpretation is, what was going through your mind when you wrote that final line? I commend you for getting a student so stuck on one line. I also admire the way you seamlessly connected to words with typically opposite connotations: extinguish being negative, and often associated with deestruction and perfection being more than just positive, but known as ultimate satisfaction.
Happy Holidays Mr. Davidson
Best wishes,
Lexie Lombard
What inspired you to write this poem? I know it seems obvious with the way you discuss the beauty of the leaves changing and the crisp air, but is there something else, or do you enjoy the transition into fall??
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem! It is very descriptive and the use of imagery causes me to visualize the beauty of the fall weather. I do think you are talking about roasting marshmallows or cooking anything for that matter. "confectionary." When you talk about stalking and searching, I am still trying to figure out what you are hunting. Maybe a deer? You are describing yourself as being outside, so you must be hunting an animal. I then imagine cooking something else for this perfect meal, maybe a pie. I am trying to decide whether this whole thing is about the animal or about several things one does to prepare for a meal. I really thought the poem was about roasting a marshmallow outside, which would make sense, but then I changed my mind after reading the part about hunting, which is not a process for roasting marshmallows. I think you are maybe writing about Thanksgiving, which would then mean that you are hunting a turkey then, not a deer. Now I really feel like you are cooking a turkey, You start off by describing the setting and then you go about stalking it and then cook it. Why is it culinary imperfection? Is cooking not your forte? Or does it make you feel bad cooking something that was once living, hence the description of this living and breathing thing. Maybe it is imperfection because of the once living thing that is being cooked. This poem is really making me think. I have now changed my mind about the poem about five times, which is a good thing. A poem that causes someone to think and doubt themselves is a good poem. It creates mysteries, which readers love.
ReplyDeleteI posted earlier but this would be my question. What is your purpose? What is the one thing that has inspired you to write? Whatever it is take that one thing pull from the depths of your soul and write about that. I may be the hardest thing you have ever done but you need to find that one thing you don't tell anyone and write about it. You may be surprised how much people respond and relate to it. I think it may cause you to take your poetry to the next level. And advice: revise revise revise because the hardest thing to do is get it right.
ReplyDeleteMr. Davidson,
ReplyDeleteI would like to commend you for your venturing out into an aspect of life that is so unlike what you usually do. Upon reading this poem for the first time I, like everyone, thought it was about fall and especially the caramelizing got me thinking about caramel apples. However then i read it a second and third time and then i thought about perfection, caramelizing, fire, etc and then it hit me, SMORES! Then i read it again and realized that smores did fit but many more things could also relate. I think that is the just of poetry, making it vague enough so people can relate but specific enough so readers can envision what the author is seeing. I can absolutely envision the procedure you are explaining and seeing myself making smores or rolling a caramel apple but, as the other comments will tell you, other people have their own ideas of what the poem is about too. I can absolutely see how your engineering mind set and background knowledge worked its way into this poem. Really cool how it is present but not completely obvious. I applaud you for accomplishing this feat of having enough sensory detail to envision a setting but enough vagueness to allow each reader to feel connected and that this is personally a poem for them.
my question: throughout your poems you have a sense of the engineer and step-by-step nature of processes, are you conscious that this is portrayed in your poems? maybe you could combine your love of engineering with your new found interest in poetry into one magical poem?
ReplyDeleteMr. Davidson,
ReplyDeleteHere is my question to you: Is this poem trying focus one one single object or event, or is it focusing on multiple? I see a chemical change happening, then a intense hunt, then the process of applying heat, then achieving perfection. As I'm trying and trying to understand what this may be, I cannot seem to grasp it. Possibly it's about some sort of "science-y" thing that I am not familiar with? My main focus here is that maybe it would help to focus on just one event, and branch out from there to describe it, if that makes sense.
Mr. Davidson:
ReplyDeleteYou said that you generally have to write immediately when you have an idea for a poem. Inspiration is extremely fickle, so I definitely get that, but what about things like found poetry or poetry built around a single line? (To explain: found poetry involves taking elements like words and phrases from various existing sources and changing them somehow to alter the meaning or to convey something new or more elaborate. Poetry built around a single line is pretty self-explanatory. I remember reading this thing by a guy writing for Poetry magazine who liked to use single lines as the basic inspiration for poems. He didn't always write the original lines himself - and sometimes he did, but far before he did the rest of the poem - and he would often wind up taking them out entirely as the poem developed. Other times, though, he wouldn't... I mean, that's not the same as found poetry, but the idea is similar.) Do either of those interest you, given that they aren't as "immediate" and could even involve letting go of a fraction of your control over the content, etc.?
My first impression: it makes me hungry even if I'm not sure what you're specifically talking about on the first read through. On the second reading, I found the connection between the image of a camp fire and baking food and suddenly it clicked that you're roasting marshmallows over a fire in this poem! I enjoyed your imagery and sequential progression of actions. Poems of camping and wilderness make sense to me since I have lots of camping experience and I would like to share a haiku that I wrote last spring on the Appalachian Trail:
ReplyDeleteFauna and Flora
Darting in and out of sight
My gods:what a sight
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteReading through some of the comments i notice that most other people haven't arrived at the same conclusion as I and I am curious why you think that certain individuals understand your poetry but others do not? My theory is that people who think like engineers, putting each piece together are more inclined to understand your style of writing. What do you think has the greatest impact on the way individuals interpret and understand poetry?
ReplyDeleteAfter sitting here for minute after minute staring at the screen trying to come up with words that rhymed with each other, I realized that's not the way to write a poem. I need to be inspired, I can't just come up with one off the bat. Here is my outcome that I would like to share:
ReplyDeleteSitting and thinking.
The clock ticks,
The time goes by.
Yet I have nothing.
Determined and hopeful.
Nothing results,
Nothing appears.
I still have nothing.
Resolving and realizing.
The idea cannot be summoned,
The idea must be felt.
I now have something.
Hayleigh's poem about stress reminded me of one I was working on, also about college!
ReplyDeleteHere it is:
A piece of paper
Eight by eleven
Holds my destiny, my future haven
My aspirations, my desires
Confirmed or denied
Will the dream live on?
Or will it die?
I am assuming this poem is talking about the space shuttle discovery and a fine creme brulee. If I am the only one to have made this realization I am shocked because in the poem, you so say "Searching, stalking...discovery," which got me thinking about a space shuttle and how one takes off. Then towards the end of the poem it was talking about caramelization due to heat, and the only food I could think of that does such a thing is creme brulee. When I worked in a restaurant, I would see how the waiters would prepare the creme brulee, torching the top of it with a blow torch like instrument, and when I read this poem, at least towards the end, that was all that I could think of. I actually enjoyed this poem more than most in our textbook, well done Mr. Davidson!
ReplyDeleteImmediately my mind went to the setting of fall; "crisp air", "color change". I picture woods where the air is clear and colored trees all around. There is a hunter walking around, searching, stalking, waiting...for the perfect turkey. "Tinder is afoot", the hunter is prepared to fire at any moment. Then the moment comes and the hunter gets the perfect turkey. He prepares the turkey:
ReplyDelete"Confectionary imperfection
Heat application
Caramelization, ignition
Extinguish to perfection"
In my mind, this poem is about the thoughts and actions of a hunter when seeking the perfect turkey for a Thanksgiving meal.
Well done Mr.Davidson, I really like this poem. It could have so many different meanings to different people, it really made me think and I like that.
Mr. Davidson,
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I wasn't expecting something so good for your first post! I'm quite impressed with your poem relating to something that must be of great importance to you, although I couldn't quite put my finger on what you were referring to...However, in the first few lines of your poem I knew you must be talking about fall due to the changing of the colors and the crisp air. Then again, I don't know much about engineering which is a big part of my ignorance to your topic. I love your word choice and the way you used lots of rhymes in the concluding lines. It really emphasized your knowledge of what you're talking about throughout the poem. I highly encourage you to keep up your poem writing; I can tell you have lots of potential! Adding to that, I think it's a very neat idea to blend poetry and engineering. I believe it will encourage engineers and poets to enjoy each other in a symmetrical way. The imagery you created in the first lines of your poem, such as color change and crisp air caused me to envision my own back yard, thinking of the first days of fall, walking outside and realizing the change just as you did in the poem. As I move on, I think a little more deeply about what you could be referencing towards. When you said, "it breathes, it eats, it lives!" I was very intrigued and more curious than ever to discover what in the world you could be talking about..the fact that it seems to have those similar behaviors to humans made me dig deeper into my mind but I still failed to recognize what it could be. I'm eager to find out!
-Happy Thanksgiving!
Mr. Davidson,
ReplyDeleteAfter thoroughly going over your poem and analyzing it a few times, I have a question for you as a relatively new poet that will better help me understand you and your creative poetry! With your engineering career, what suddenly sparked your interest in writing poetry? Or have you had this interest for a long time and are just now fulfilling it?
Never underestimate the power of the rhyming couplets sir. Heres a poem I composed for this special day:
ReplyDeleteNow that you’re eighteen Alyse,
Doesn’t mean you can mock the police.
Just cause you ate too much turkey,
Doesn’t mean you can be jerky.
Now that you’re ten plus eight,
You can come home late.
My arms couldn’t bear,
the weight of an erotic teddy bear.
Don’t kick nick.
But out of all that was gifted,
I hope that this one your smile lifted.
I hope that this BirthsGiving
Was more than worth living!
I wish you a day full of loving
And a belly full of stuffing!
Love, the Master of Sass.
My question is: does the work you have done as an engineer for years influenced not only your thought process, but also the word choice and concepts you use in your poems? I have noticed that you seem to use an engineers vocabulary rather than a normal poets diction, and it is a nice change of pace.
ReplyDeleteHey Mr.Davidson, first off, great job! I do have one question...I noticed you used a lot of scientific lingo (chemical change, phosphorus, etc.) is this because you're a science/engineering brain? Otherwise, why this diction rather than any other descriptive word?
ReplyDeleteThis poem creates nice visual images of a fall afternoon in the woods with an open fire; before the hunt to perhaps kill that evenings dinner?
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem and the diction used to describe the setting and the events that take place. It's simplistic and allows me to visualize myself sitting by a campfire enjoying the crisp fall weather before a hunt to provide either entertainment or dinner. I can relate to the campfire scene, but not the hunting, since my years at summer camp did not involve any hunting for food, but we did eat plenty of s'mores.
Kathy
ReplyDeleteMr. Davidson,
I feel as if my first interpretation to this poem was a bit off from most people's interpretations. Okay so make that completely off what other student's thought. I had it etched into my head that the poem was going to be mechanical based because of your engineering background. It was really interesting though, observing the diction and interpreting it into some sort of mechanical jargon. As if you were comparing the task of fixing/working on a car to the fine art of culinary. A very obscure and strange way to look at it compared to what everyone else thought, I know, but I figured I should be honest! It truly gives me the image of a man working away on his car on a brisk autumn morning.
The New Beginning
This time of year never fails
To make everything feel new
And with it brings a feeling of the end to what was past
Forever young yet forever growing
In years and mind
It can't be controlled or stopped
No use in trying
When the lush foliage slowly starts to fall
The cooling air remembers
Memories once thought forgotten
Yet always welcomed back
Nostalgia-
What happened?